The girl friend mails photos from U.S.A., hold pink small BABY, a face with happy smile in the chest. Thought of it five years ago, she came to visit me from Hangzhou, wove two pieces of fried dough twist pigtail, wore the shirt in men's style, take a walk in the mountain with me. For time for several year, 30 year old of women, make one need on business job everywhere from previous sections of emotion, not falling in love, recite words crazily in lesure when there is not much left, a person goes to Beijing when celebrating the New Year, crowd and study GRE in New Orient classroom with the children of eighteen nine. She says, the pressure is very large.
While saying that, we stand under the city wall, the sunshine photo studio in early summer is penetrating her tired face. However, I can see her bright sight in the eyes, then seem it is a kind of strength not put out, supporting her life.
Like a lot ordinary and mediocre and unambitious persons, I say with the tone that console: Why is so arduous? Present salary is very high, what difficult matter not that find someone to get married, why torment and control oneself in this way? 30 years old, it is not small.
Recall now, the words are always sent, been barren, taken destiny on the point of dying and moribund breath. That year, I have just 23 years old, happy love, had indulged in pleasure and forgotten home and duty.
She has not refuted, has just smiled thinly, answer: Life is actually very long.
Later, we had no chance to meet again, just heard her GRE mark was very high, have got the whole award of the American university.
Everybody thought it was a miracle, I seemed to understand, behind that miracle, it was her willing lonely arduous life day by day. We in playing and singing every night, love, shout K, stroll shop, have a get-together, travel, overdraw youth and life like being crazy. She is like the ascetic generally step by step forward, the footprint is sturdy, ignore people's seemingly well-meaning consolation at one's side: You should find someone to be been married, live a better life.
It seems that destiny flowed backwards, that year when her going abroad studied, I failed in love, stood all alone, life became empty suddenly and fell. I can not find the direction, have no place to go. Study the boring single woman in the film too, go to the bar to drink alone, go home staggering in footprint stepped on. Life look like dose earnestly traditional Chinese medicine, is forcing me to swallow, everyone disappears, suffer from depression.
Everybody has ever gone through. Saunter in the street as dead-alive person, hope the speeding car knocks this body without soul away, thought already has been a butterfly, could mark the beautiful arc.
I am sorry, in the twinkling of an eye falling down to the ground, you are not beautiful, you are drenched with blood, the face is ferocious, and, the earth rotates all the same, the Karaoka disc is still full, someone inside is singing: "You are happy so I am happy. "
This is reality.
The girl friend must turn out a prestigious institution to pass in U.S.A., take the first, turn on PARTY with foreign classmates on weekend in each examination, each person line good at kind dish already since, she end Longjing tea shelled shrimp, startle all present by great skill, go, ski by car with friend winter vacation, world of ice and snow kind to red cap is worn, seem to be like the young girl.
I suddenly understand the real meaning of that sentence that she says after smiling thinly that year.
She has lived again in his home town of foreign country. Begin the ability to resume love. She often writes a letter: JEFF is very kind to me, JEFF leads me to see his family, JEFF proposes to me, I am pregnant. . . . . . .
Each I am reading the letter, is reading her photo, there is one kind of warm and dim feelings gradually. I seem it is she of that year, stand up struggling, give up all absurd thought, pick up books again, study, have an examination, go after by there is not the heart. Someone natural says at one's side: Nearly 30, think about the already great event in one's life.
It's my turn to smile: Life is actually very long, when to begin finds time. While saying this sentence, it is the sun in early summer that shines dimly and numerously on the body too, it seemed that the youth raised the curtain just now.
Festival story | Music of heaven | amy | fish |
